Anticiper

Day 339

2010-11-19T08:53:00.002+11:00

We are - apparently - going to the south coast this weekend, and it's a surprise. I don't know if I like surprises. - gulps - puts me out of my control..but it's a sweet thought of wanting to surprise me. On the other hand, ....I choose not to imagine the unforeseen events, YET one's subconscious cannot help it. "Stop it, think nothing, expect nothing, and you won't be disappointed". I rationalize: He's at work everyday, and when he's home, I know what he gets up to, there's NO way he's prepared anything. Undermine his multi-tasking abilities - yes - there's not going to be a surprise this weekend.

Day 343

2010-11-15T15:03:00.000+11:00

What would you like for Christmas?

I honestly do not need anything, nor do I want anything. I told your mom I'd like some pot plants because that's probably the only thing you've prohibited me to buy due to them being costly.

Please sweetie, let's not spend too much on Christmas this year as we might have to start saving for next year - or you can buy me a ring.

I caved - again. The whole weekend, conversations of us seem to have molded into the understanding that we are already all family; me and them I mean. I suppose things were a little frisky between me and his dad when we got into a debate about an issue which we - once again - agree to disagree. Even our upcoming holiday to Tasmania is a family vacation, but not once did he mention to his parents that he is going to ask me properly.

Frustrating, yes. I don't want anything except a token of your commitment for Christmas, unless it's the $1190 Provence Antique Armchair

or a Kitchenaid Mixmaster,

or a mirror

OR a ring. I secretly do want a ring; To proclaim our commitment and love to each other. I am sounding desperate, but it's not that at all. It doesn't seem to matter to me because we are already loving and living the happy married life, but for my parents' sake. I am feeling a little clucky, and he knows it's got to be the way of tying the knot first, just so to keep my mum and dad off my back on this issue for eternity. It is worth it.

Day 349

2010-11-10T14:28:00.000+11:00

How time flies. I completely forgot about you. On sunday, Day 351, we were out enjoying our day, and decided to walk in a few jewelers - Hardy brothers - The assistant Manager was really helpful and polite to us. the variety of the diferent types of rings I could potentially put on my finger. I tried on a few, and honestly, none really caught my eye. This included the hearts of fire sparkling one with the pink diamond in the middle. I had to politely declined and made some stupid excuse that we were looking around at other jewelers too, so it isn't really an excuse. It is the truth.

It is the effort and time he is putting in to finding the perfect ring for me which I am appreciating a lot. The sincere, time-taking, conscientious effort that this gorgeous person has makes me respect him more than the past 3 years we've been together. He listens to my justification of not wanting a huge ring but he thinks I should be treasured and valued with a beautiful ring.

I love him.

Day 363

2010-10-27T14:09:00.000+11:00

I came across Guy Sebastian and Jordin Sparks' Art of Love, and that is exactly how I feel...It ain't perfect, but it's worth it, And it's always getting better, It's gonna take some time to get it right. Cause I'm still learning the art of love, I'm still trying to not mess up.So whenever I stumble let me know,You need to spell it out ....

Commitment, effort to make a change to better ourselves and each other, respect, stop and listen to each other. If one wants to make it work, one will.

Day 364

2010-10-26T11:55:00.000+11:00

"How was your day?"

It's good - I replied unenthusiastically.
Nothing interesting happened? - the usual followup question, in which normally at this point, it is an invitation for me to start my verbal diarrhoea -
Well, L walked in today and mentioned about the Kitchen Tea she attended on Sunday and how there is a hiccup - I go on to reiterate the story - until 30 seconds later, watching the slow morphing of his face into an expressionless statue, knowing he's spaced out, and remembering I am not supposed to talk about weddings and marriage, gave a brief conclusion of the end of the story.

This I believe is not entirely my fault; I was just relating an interesting story across to him. Thank Goodness I will not have to see nor speak with him the next few days makes it easier to avoid the topic.

Day 365

2010-10-25T09:22:00.000+11:00

he promised me with the next 12 months as of yesterday, he will make a honest woman out of me. This is a fairly good reason to blog my experience, struggle, and -perhaps insignificant - emotions of this huge anticipation of the day. We've been randomly talking about it for a couple of months, and the uncertainty has caused me great upset. Gen Y - the ME Generation - I have not yet lived up to my peers' classes and standards in attitude of focusing on me yet, so I thought I take this opportunity to start recording, and 'sharing' with the world.

As soon as I promised not to talk about putting the pressure on, everything we saw on TV or the conversations held around us were about weddings and marriages! I couldn't help myself but grin.